actbiggy
These are some interesting questions posed by people, and they got clear answers from the people who experienced the same situation. Keep reading.
1 .Partner Lives With His Ex-Wife
I am very in love with my lover of eight months. He brings up marriage and our future together constantly. We’re in our late 60s, but due to our distance from one another, we only get to see one other for a few hours once a week and never at his house. Why? He resides with his vicious ex-wife, who prohibits guests.
Despite divorcing 20 years ago, they kept living together “for the kids’ sake,” who are now adults. The grandparents now stay with them. My boyfriend wants to sell the house and split the money, but his angry ex-wife won’t let him. (He is unable to afford to abandon the asset.) He is all I could possibly want, but this is hurting. What am I supposed to do?
A Girlfriend Answers
I feel for your situation. But I think we should take a closer look at your boyfriend’s account. Despite his love of fantasy imagery, his ex-wife is not a devilish witch holding him captive in a castle tower. He has chosen to remain with her for the past 20 years following their divorce and will do so indefinitely.
He might actually be unable to part with a treasured possession like their marital home. But a divorce attorney could assist in resolving this situation by forcing a sale or negotiating a new, equitable settlement. You would feel safe moving forward while he was freed.
This may already be known to your boyfriend. Give him the benefit of the doubt, but nevertheless, let him know how you feel and what you might do to fix it. Because he likes the well-known (though occasionally unpleasant) quantity of home and family, I worry that he has not developed an exit strategy. Consider moving on unless you see evidence of advancement or can live with the current situation.
2 .I Want That Skirt Back, Please
Photo Credits – Respective Owner
I recently graduated from college. I didn’t have many roommates during college because I lived at home. I met up with my current roommate to discuss sharing his flat, and he informed me that he occasionally dresses as a woman other than his biological gender. I assume he did this to make sure I didn’t find this offensive. I don’t! However, I do object to him searching through my closet when I’m not at home. There is no doubt that things are not where I left them. Other than that, our shared flat is running smoothly. Advice?
Julia Answers
You create a great distinction between supporting your roommate’s interest in transgender behavior and granting him access to your closet. If you want this apartment sharing to work, tell your roommate:
“I appreciate living with you, but you have to respect my privacy — and stay out of my closet.” Ask him to affirm that he will. If he betrays his word or if you lose faith in him, look for a different place to live. The safety of home is violated when you feel compelled to lock your room (or closet) to protect yourself from a nosy roommate.
3. That’s Not My Name
I’ve been married to my hubby for two years. My husband respects my decision to maintain using my given name. I don’t mind if people who don’t know this refers to me by the last name of my husband. My issue is that despite knowing, my mother-in-law still calls me by my husband’s name whenever she sends me a card or letter.
When it originally happened, my husband spoke to her and assured her that I had retained my name. She looked unconcerned about it, yet she still called him by the wrong name. (She also has a high threshold.) Should we bring up this issue again or ignore it?
A Daughter-In-Law Answers
About 20 times a year, I get this exact question—down to the mother-in-law’s level of sensitivity. I used to speculate about these mothers-in-law’s motivations in the hopes that it would provide light on the matter. Because choosing to keep one’s name has been a popular choice for women for many years.
I no longer give a damn about motivation. Your name might be a meaningful part of who you are. And your mother-in-law’s sensitivity does not give her the right to call you a bad name. If you find this bothersome, call her and kindly ask her to use your legal surname. (To all the women who chose not to correct their mothers-in-law and who will later write to say it’s not worth it: That was your choice—it wasn’t the only one.)
4. Dogs Not Allowed
I’ve never been a fan of dogs. But I found out a year ago that I’m allergic to them as well. (I had a skin test done by my allergist.) My brother and his girlfriend are dog-worshippers. They regularly ask me if they can bring their dog inside “for a little time” during home events. I’m worried that if I decline each time, we’ll grow apart. What ought I do?
A Sister Answers
You are sensitive to dogs! When you see your brother and his girlfriend, you have every right to request that they keep their dog outside. Sadly, you’re also right that by forbidding the dog inside, they might be less likely to come to see you.
But there is no justification for exposing yourself to known allergies. Even if you have no regrets, express your regret that your health prevents you from allowing them to keep their pet inside. That might be beneficial.
